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Today I have some updates, an invitation, and a story.

In case you were wondering where I’ve been, the podcast is having a short break while I attend to some other things and get ready for the next segment of episodes. Don’t worry, I’ll be back, which I won’t attempt to say in Arnold Schwartzenegger’s voice even though I hear it in my head! The regular publishing schedule of every two weeks will resume the first week of May.

The enrollment period for adapt.succed.together.’s first round has ended, and I’m working on some things related to that in the background.

There was also the conference for Families In Global Transitions – FIGT – if you’ve ever lived, loved, or worked across borders, FIGT is for you. I had my first FIGT experience this year and even though it was online instead of in person, I felt incredibly welcomed, comfortable, known, supported, … and inspired. Wow. This is a community of people giving of their best work so that others might benefit, and it is humbling and makes me feel so grateful to be part of it.

One of the things that’s just happened in FIGT that I’m excited about is the formation of an Education Affiliate. That means everyone who works in / with / around the education field can come together to talk specifically about the needs, challenges and opportunities in schools. Because educators are on the front lines of working with Third Culture Kids and their families who are in global transition. It’s not just the ones who are moving who are impacted, the entire community is affected when people come and when they go. So it’s a really important topic.

So I’m excited to see what will come out of the Education Affiliate, and look forward to sharing more down the road. 

I’m totally on board with the need and I’m really excited to be part of that, with people who are doing exceptional work in this area already. I found some new heroes when I listened to what some of these folks are working on.

If FIGT sounds interesting to you, become a member! It’s a wonderful organization to be part of and they have events throughout the year available to members.

Invitation:

Another thing I’m excited about, and here is your Invitation:

TCKCon is happening on April 24. This is a conference organized BY and FOR Third Culture Kids. Two highschool students in Washington DC felt like they were alone in their school and wanted to meet other TCKs, and they ended up creating a conference. The first TCKCon happened last year in Washington DC. This year it’s happening on Zoom, which means YOU’RE INVITED! 

This is for teens – that’s middle & high schoolers – AND their parents. I’ll be one of the speakers, alongside several other speakers. The conference is on a Saturday and only 2 hours long to prevent Zoom fatigue, and there will be a variety of sessions that last 15-20 minutes each, so it’ll be a lot of fun.

Let me read you a little description of the conference:

TCKCon, a student-organized conference for Third Culture Kids and their families, has returned for a second year and will be held in a virtual format, opening up the opportunity for global attendees to meet and form a strong community of those who have lived or currently live in a foreign country. The process of moving homes and gaining new cultural identities can often be an isolating experience, and the current COVID restrictions can make these transitions harder than ever. This year, TCKCon has a number of speakers who are professionals in this field and will present topics ranging from cultural identity and repatriation to how our experiences impact college decisions and applications. Presentations are followed by breakout rooms for activities and group discussions. Come socialize with other TCKs, learn from professional speakers, and have the chance to share your own experiences in this community building event. 

You can RSVP now, and follow on instagram @TCKCon and watch their website for updates as more info comes out.

Oh – and it’s free!

So tell anyone you know who has a teenager who was or is being raised outside their passport country. I hope to see you there. 

Story:

I held my daughter (who’s bigger than me) on my lap while she cried.

Something had happened at school that placed her between some other students, and her father, who is the principal. And while the details of what happened don’t matter, and every side of the situation is understandable, she felt unfairly blamed as a result of being the principal’s daughter. …the top man in charge… the ultimate disciplinarian. 

You can imagine how teenagers would react to this situation.

And so she sat in my lap, crying. … She was misunderstood, this was so wrong, she didn’t know how to fix it. 

And I felt like crying too. 

And as I held her, I knew what to say. 

I told her, “This is so unfair to you. You did not ask to be in this position. You did not have a choice. You are the principal’s daughter. Your father took this job that puts you in an awkward position. This is a burden that most other students do not carry. Most other students in the school aren’t even teachers’ kids, and there’s nobody else in this school who’s an administrator’s kid.” 

And I told her that I understood that this was a burden for her, and I understood that she didn’t ask for it, and I understood that it wasn’t fair. 

And I felt confident that that was what she needed to hear in that moment. And I’m so thankful that I had just reviewed one of the “Bible” books for our lifestyle: Third Culture Kids Growing Up Among Worlds by Ruth van Rican and David Pollock. And I had been reminded of these dynamics in the International School, where the students of teachers & administrators have these extra pressures that most other people don’t have. 

I was able to verbalize that there are elements completely out of her control, and let her know that I see it. Because it would be easy to get stuck on what she could say or what she could do to try to fix the situation and the relationships. But that would be missing the deeper, more important thing.

I’m telling you this story because that little nugget is exactly what I needed in that moment, and I’m so glad I had it on fresh recall. And THAT is why I do this work, to bring these topics to your attention, so they’re floating around in your brain somewhere and hopefully you too will be able to pull out the little nuggets you need when the moment comes with your child.

Whether it’s about the pain of saying goodbye, or about the confusion of deciding “who am I” or about navigating that most basic question: “where are you from?” or dozens of other situations … I want you to be equipped to help your child through those moments with NO accidental shaming or defensiveness, or if that happens – because we’re all human – to be able to recognize it and remedy it. I want you to be able to stare these hard bits in the face without fear, but with a knowing that those hard bits don’t take away from the joyful bits.

So stay tuned for when the podcast resumes in May; I’m excited for what’s coming next. 

Have a wonderful day!