EPISODE 26 SHOW NOTES

Unlock Hidden Expectations, with Abby Williamson

episode 26 Unlock hidden expectations with Abby Williamson Expat Family Connection podcast

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EPISODE 26 SHOWNOTES

Unlock Hidden Expectations, with Abby Williamson

BY KIM ADAMS

Click “+” below for detailed show notes and full text transcript. Scroll down for the blog post.

As TCKs (and adults) work through the complex issues of identity, place and belonging, it can be really hard to express what’s going on inside. We may need an expanded vocabulary. We may need permission to be outside of prescribed standards.

“When we use creativity and tell our stories in creative ways, it opens up a different way of processing. It helps us to get past the expectations we have for ourselves.”

In this episode we talk about

    • How telling their own stories helps TCKs connect with others;
    • Why practicing telling their own stories is important even for families who are great communicators;
    •  The critical life skills built through interacting with the arts;

and more.

RESOURCES mentioned in the episode: 

Check out the monthly interactive online Art Party for little global learners. It’s perfect for ages 4-10 and it’s a ton of fun! For Art Party announcements, make sure you’re on The Culture Canvas newsletter; you’ll also get TCK book recommendations and learning resources, and updates on a workshop series for families in transition to connect around the dinner table and creatively process together.

Mosaics activity for processing life events and intentionally shaping our narratives. Flash Sale: Buy this week and get a live debrief session included.

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ABOUT TODAY’S GUEST:

Abby Williamson is an arts educator living and working in Kathmandu, Nepal with her husband and two sons. She is committed to creating learning resources and learning environments for kids to grow in global perspectives, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence. She started The Culture Canvas out of a passion for the arts and how they can be a catalyst for creativity, compassion, and connection.

CONNECT WITH Abby Williamson:

Website: CultureCanvas.org

Instagram: @abbyverity

Email Abby

ABOUT YOUR HOST:

Kim Adams is an American raising three daughters along with her math-teaching husband of 20 years. She loves photography, reading, thunderstorms, walking on the beach, camping where there are no bugs, and has a weakness for mint chocolate chip ice cream.

CONNECT WITH KIM:

Inquire about adapt.succeed.together. and get all your questions answered.

Email Kim

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Kim: [00:00:00] Abby, thank you so much for coming and talking with me today, it’s a pleasure to have you. I’ll let you introduce yourself: a little bit about your background and the work that you’re doing.

Abby: [00:00:10] Sure, yeah, thanks for having me. I’m excited to have this discussion. I’m Abby Williamson and my family and I live in Nepal near Kathmandu. We have been here for about three years and we work in education here. So we do, My husband does a lot of teacher training. I do a lot of helping out of the school, as well as I started my own business a little while ago. And it’s called The Culture Canvas. And so we support TCKs, but also just anyone in transition. I’ve always told people that it’s not just for kids, it’s for anybody that’s looking to grow in global perspectives, global learning,

Kim: [00:00:55] Yeah.

Abby: [00:00:56] Looking at things from multiple perspectives, critical thinking. That’s a big part of of what we do with schools here in Nepal, too, is critical thinking skills. And so it’s some of that. I have a certification in Montessori as well. And so I definitely integrate that into it, too. So it’s kind of, it’s for young learners and it’s a lot of fun. We just do a lot of different creative projects looking at different artists, and it’s all just a way of looking from different perspectives and processing together.

Kim: [00:01:31] Ok, good. And you have an arts background, yeah?

Abby: [00:01:34] I do. So I, my main background was a professional dancer, actually, so I was in Pacific Northwest Ballet for a little while, not very long, and I was in the professional division there. I ended up going to art school after that. And so my background is in the arts. And yeah, I did some work with Seattle Public Schools as a teaching artist, then went to Afghanistan and worked at an international school, then ended up coming back, being in another dance company, getting married. Both of us, my husband and I, worked in Korea at another international school. And then now we are here in Nepal. So we yeah, a lot of my background is with international education and specifically in arts education.

Kim: [00:02:19] Oh, very good. When we talk about the arts, there are a lot of different areas of the arts. Sometimes I wonder what’s the difference between visual arts and performing arts? And I wondered if there is a correct term to use, or do you kind of put it all together under one big umbrella?

Abby: [00:02:38] I, when I’m speaking about the classes that I teach, I do try to just say the arts – plural with an S on the end – because I have found that some people get confused by that. When you try to say art, even though to me art can be many things, art can be visual art, it can be music, it can be dance, it can be so many different things, theatre…. But I think it’s less confusing for people when I say “the arts.” And that is something I love, I guess not even just with The Culture Canvas that I’m doing now, but for a long time now, any kind of creative project that I’ve done, I’ve always really loved bringing in different mediums. That’s just something, I’ve always found it really interesting. And being able to bring in people’s stories that way too. This kind of multifaceted way, kind of more complex way of integrating things and bringing in people’s stories. I like to use different mediums. So I guess it’s helpful in that way, too, to be able to say the arts instead of art.

Kim: [00:03:43] Ok, so your business is called The Culture Canvas,

Abby: [00:03:47] Yes.

Kim: [00:03:47] And inside of that, you have one program called History Makers, right?

Abby: [00:03:52] That’s right.

Kim: [00:03:53] My kids have been going through those lessons, and one of the things you do in there is you have storytelling as part of the lesson. And I was curious, why do you have. Why do you incorporate storytelling in the lessons for young children?

Abby: [00:04:08] It’s a really good question. Yeah, we do storytelling because I think mostly for two reasons. One, because I think kids remember stories, maybe not just kids, anyone, remembers stories. Or they remember information better when it’s in a story than they do if it’s just like, you know, “let me tell you all these facts.” Boom, boom, boom.

Kim: [00:04:31] Yeah.

Abby: [00:04:32] Yeah. Not just kids. All of us are like that. We remember because we connect. We connect with it when it’s a story. And that’s really my big hope with all of this, is for kids to connect, you know. To connect with these global artists all around the world, connecting with who they were, their ideas, and then also connecting with their own ideas, their own creativity. So I think the story just connects us better than facts and figures.

Abby: [00:05:00] And I think the other reason is just this element of social emotional learning. That I think that stories, being able to tell stories, encourages kids to know how to use listening skills. And that’s a very – maybe coming from that Montessori training, being able to use those listening skills, process in different ways, and then be able, I think it encourages them to tell their own stories, too, of like, well, this is how this person’s story went. What would it look like to tell my own story?

Kim: [00:05:33] What I’ve noticed in the lessons that I’ve seen so far is that you pick out some little really interesting tidbit from the artist’s life and kind of key in on that and tie it into the creative project that the kids are going to do that time.

Abby: [00:05:47] That’s really true, and I’ll be honest, some of the some of the artists, it’s easier to do that with another artist. Like sometimes I’m doing research for History Makers, this interactive arts course that Kim’s kids have done and that we’re talking about For some of them, I do research and I’m just like, what am I going to draw out from this? You know what? What? How do I tell this in an interesting way that is going to be engaging for kids. And so for some of them, it’s really easy. And then for other ones, it’s like, OK, I’ve really got to I spend a lot of time sometimes, like pouring through just books and information and articles about this artist and who they were and what I can draw from their life.

Kim: [00:06:31] Well, you do a good job in what you put out in the end, so it’s worth it.

Abby: [00:06:38] I enjoy it, so it’s worth it for me to.

Kim: [00:06:43] Now, in the context of TCKs and expats, what is story to you?

Abby: [00:06:52] Wow, that’s a big question.

Kim: [00:06:53] Yes, it is.

Abby: [00:06:56] I think in the context of TCK’s and globally mobile families, I think that story is crucial. I think you and I both have read Ulrika Ernvik’s book that talks about — who I totally recommend that; she’s one of my favorite books that I’ve read on TCKs. And in her book, she talks a lot about the importance of TCKs telling their own stories and how, in a way, it helps them own their stories. It’s true for anybody, but I think for TCK’s it’s super important for them to be telling their own stories. Because I think sometimes for TKCs it’s hard for them to own their stories. Like they they have so many different moving parts of different worlds that they inhabit, different cultures. And I think sometimes for them it can be hard to latch on and say, this is who I am, this is my story. But at the same time, it’s super important for them to do that, because I think that it is part of this process of integrating their different worlds, integrating their different lives that they lead in these different places. And it’s a way of kind of taking territory, like staking a claim and saying, OK, this is, this is my life. It’s different than maybe a lot of people in my home, my passport country. But that’s OK. And this is what it looks like. And I think that also for TCKs (sorry, apparently I have a lot to say about this)

Abby: [00:08:32] I think also for TCKs, because they have a really hard time sometimes connecting with other people, connecting with other kids, especially if those other kids are not TCK’s and they don’t share that same experience. And so I think that this practice and I think maybe learned skill of telling their own story is very important, too, for their ability to connect with others.

Kim: [00:09:01] And that’s a big element of another piece of The Culture Canvas that you’re developing, families kind of coming together and working on their family story and their family cultural elements and bits. I really like that.

Abby: [00:09:16] Yeah, I’m really excited about that. I didn’t say this before, I should have as I was introducing myself, I should have mentioned it. My husband is also a TCK and we have two sons and we’re raising TCKs. And actually, I was just telling someone on Instagram the other day that our kids, our two sons, I believe they’re either third generation or fourth generation TKCs because not only is my husband a TCK, but his mother is a TCK. So his mom grew up here in Nepal. And then Ross, my husband, also grew up here in Nepal as well as Indonesia.

So it’s very interesting to me, like all of this very complex work sometimes of identity and place and belonging. But, yeah, going back to, we’re very excited about this new course. We’re trying to develop a really short, accessible, like five lesson workshop type course that is just helping TKCs to not only tell their stories, but also for families like you were saying, families to have kind of a roadmap for sitting around the dinner table and having these important discussions, being able to connect with each other. And I keep using that word connect and connection. But I really I think that’s kind of the heart of of all of this, of what, at least for me, what my hope is for all of this is for families to connect, for kids to connect. And also for that new course we’re just really trying to develop content that, like I said, is accessible, but is also making it easier to navigate some of those really difficult conversations.

Kim: [00:11:01] Yeah, I’m really excited to see when that comes out, I’m going to be watching.

Abby: [00:11:08] We’re excited too. We’re trying to figure out now how much to just talk and discuss these things on video and how much to give activities and give props and things like that. So, yeah, I think it’ll be a mix of both, which is exciting.

Kim: [00:11:24] Why is it so important or why is it so helpful to explore our stories through creative mediums?

Abby: [00:11:32] I’m doing a workshop right now that is a lot about the right brain in the left brain. The left brain is the logical side, the reasoning and all of that, and the right side is this kind of creative side. And I think that when we use creativity and we tell our stories in creative ways, it kind of opens up a different way of processing and it opens up more space to be able to process our stories. I think that it also creates … it goes around … oh, how do I say this? It helps us to get past our expectations that we have for ourselves in processing sometimes.

Kim: [00:12:15] Mmmmm.

Abby: [00:12:16] So I think that sometimes, we don’t even realize it all the time, but we come to discussions and activities and all kinds of things, we come to our lives with these a set of expectations of well. And even as an expat like, “well, I should be able to handle this” or “I should be handling this in this way.” “I should be this kind of expat, this kind of person.”

Kim: [00:12:45] Or, “I should have an answer to this question.”

Abby: [00:12:48] Yes, yes, and I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves as expats. And I think that when we’re processing our stories, we still do that. You know, we’re still doing that, we’re putting those expectations on ourselves. So, like I said, sometimes without realizing it, to filter things in a certain way, to yeah, we just have these expectations. And so I think when we use the creative side of the brain and we’re processing in creative ways, telling our stories in creative ways, in some ways we unlock these places in our hearts, in our minds, in our even soul-spirits I would say, that kind of go past those expectations and just open it up to look at it in a different way from a different perspective. And that’s a lot of the same with History Makers, too, is that encouragement to look at things from a different perspective.

Kim: [00:13:42] Yeah, that’s really good. It sounds like a bit of what you’re saying is that by going through a creative medium that we bypass the way we have understood ourselves and the words we have put on that understanding of ourselves and the vocabulary that’s all around that, and we kind of bypass that and go in from another way. And and it opens up something that we didn’t even know was there necessarily.

Abby: [00:14:10] You put that so well. I wish I had put it that well.

Kim: [00:14:17] So do you think that it gives us a new vocabulary when we come at it from a different angle?

Abby: [00:14:24] Exactly, yes, I think that and that’s even just this last History Makers that we did, which I think your daughter was a part of, that, you know, we were focusing on social emotional learning this past time. And I’m thinking about, you know, should we do more of that? Because I think that’s a big goal I had for that lesson was giving kids vocabulary it’s really difficult for kids, whether they’re kids or not. I think it’s difficult for kids to talk about their own feelings sometimes. Even my own son, like sometimes he’ll do something, you know, just acting out. And I’ll be like, why did you do that? What made you do that? And sometimes he’s just like, I don’t know, like and I believe him. Sometimes he really doesn’t know. And I think some of that is not having the vocabulary to say, I did that because I’m feeling angry today. I’m feeling sad. I’m feeling disappointed today. And so that was a big goal of that lesson. And maybe History Makers in general, Culture Canvas in general, that’s part of it, is to be able to give kids vocabulary, to be able to talk about what’s going on on the inside.

Kim: [00:15:41] It feels pretty complex for that toddler, preschool, young elementary kids, and I know my five year old, she she’s pretty stuck on there’s about four feelings that she knows and identifies. There’s mad or angry and sad and happy and sad. But there’s so much more than that! But she’s stuck on those very few. And I’m trying to build the nuance and take her a bit further.

Abby: [00:16:09] Yeah, definitely, and you’re right, I think for young students, that’s totally normal to have like only a few emotions that they really understand or have the vocabulary for. But it’s a slow process sometimes for young students. But I do think it’s still worth it and still valuable to slowly build that vocabulary, because I think, you know, for TCKs especially, the more it’s like putting tools in their toolbox, the more emotional intelligence that they have, more vocabulary for that, that they have the earlier and maybe. I don’t know more easily they’re going to be able to express what’s going on, which for some is really difficult.

Kim: [00:16:58] Yeah, yeah, and then you get into some stuff when you’re a teenager and beyond, that’s really complex. Like you were talking about with your husband, all that stuff with identity and place and belonging. It’s really hard to work with and to figure out and to put into words. But I feel like that that practice of naming the feelings early on, it kind of builds a strong foundation.

Abby: [00:17:24] Yeah, definitely, yeah, yeah, that’s one of the reasons we’re excited about this new curriculum, new course. A lot of the work I’ve done so far has been with young students. And so taking those ideas and really offering activities that speak to older students as well. Both my husband and I both worked with older students quite a bit already. And so we have that experience. But bringing that to this area of social, emotional learning, TCKs, family stability, family culture, strengthening family culture, all of that, I think is yeah, it’s going to be interesting. Like I mentioned before, my husband is a TCK and he did have some hard times growing up with transition. He transitioned quite a few times and that was difficult for him. There were some yeah, there were some certain times of transition. He transitioned. I think the most significant time was in middle school, like right, kind of right when he was in the middle of middle school and about to go into high school and they transitioned back to the US at the same time.

Kim: [00:18:35] Man.

Abby: [00:18:35] It was just. It’s such an awkward age anyway and like, it’s a difficult age anyway. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, there’s a lot there’s a lot to unpack there with identity and place and belonging. And I mean, even for me as an adult, I’ve always been so fascinated by those themes and topics because, you know, I’m not a TCK, but I’ve been moving around. I’ve lived in Afghanistan and Korea and back in the US again and now in Nepal. And I’ve moved around so much that I myself have wrestled a lot with identity and place and belonging.

Kim: [00:19:17] Yeah.

Abby: [00:19:17] So it’s just really, really complex and really layered. But I recently spoke to a friend who, she has (this is something I have not experienced yet, is having a kid old enough to transition to college).

Abby: [00:19:32] And yeah, you’re closer to that than I am. But she, my friend, her oldest, her eldest child, just finished his first year at university and it was a difficult year for him. It got better towards the end there. You know, transition takes a long time, but it did get better. And something interesting that she was sharing with me was that he. In his friend group at university, he was kind of trying to find his identity, find where he fits, what his role was in this new group of friends. There’s like one other TCK at his at his college, which it’s like, oh, that is so hard. But anyway, so he was trying to fit in with his friend group and she was saying something about how he was kind of like trying on this persona as he tried to fit in. And he ended up because he was not only new to this college, new to this university experience, but also new to like living in the United States because he hadn’t. He’d visited, but he hadn’t lived there. Her son was sharing with her that his friend group was assuming or like that’s what they perceived, was that he was like the fun one the like, love new experiences, doing new things, super excited about everything, and almost like a very childlike, naive, childlike persona. And when he was sharing with her, he was like, that’s not really who I am. Like, I’m not really you know, I am excited about things. I’m an extrovert and I get really excited about things. But like, I’m not exactly childlike. Like, I like having serious deep conversations too. But he just got labeled that way because for him everything WAS a new experience. It wasn’t like. It literally was a new experience for him. So he, and you know how that is in college. If you remember, like, you know, it’s been a long time for you Kim, but maybe you can remember. I’m just kidding.

Abby: [00:21:41] Totally joking. But it’s been a long time for me, too. But yeah, we can remember in college how you get there and those first few friendships are so key. And that identity that you start building early on is so key. Like people remember. And those first impressions and it can be difficult.

Kim: [00:22:03] Yeah, it’s a very impressionable age and you’re doing so much exploration, but, yes, you do, you do kind of – especially in a smaller school, you do kind of settle into … People understand a reputation about you, of the way you are, and the way you are with the world. So, yeah.

Abby: [00:22:21] Exactly, exactly. And so going back to storytelling, I think for kids like him, being able to process our own stories, our own life stories, where we’ve been in the past and what that has looked like and where we are presently, and having the practice even. That sounds strange, but being able to. Yeah. Just know how to tell our own stories. I just think about kids like him and thinking like, wow. You know, he comes from a family that I think communicates pretty well. I feel like they’re pretty good communicators, but it’s still for so many, it’s still so difficult to know, like how to verbalize some of that, how to tell your own story.

Kim: [00:23:08] So having some practice with vocabulary that actually expresses the aspects of life that are difficult.

Abby: [00:23:15] Yeah, the aspects of life that are difficult for sure, and I think those are extra important because I think grief in itself is just a complex, difficult thing. But like, you know, even the the happy parts too. The parts that were exciting and that we loved. The parts of living in these different places and our families, that we really. Our strange, wacky families that have done these, you know, lived in these places. Those happy things, those good things. I think those are also important to be able to express and tell.

Kim: [00:23:50] That’s a good a good skill as well. Yeah, so you have a big a big emphasis on social emotional learning. Can you say a little bit more about why that’s such a critical skill set? Is it an extra skill set or is it a foundational skill set?

Abby: [00:24:06] Hmm. Wow, what a question. I feel like it serves us. That skill or the social emotional learning, what we gain from that serves us in every part of our lives. I think I was telling you before that some people have labeled some of these skills, being able to communicate well, being able to listen well, being able to gauge emotions in the room, feelings in the room, and being sensitive to that. Like all of these sometimes people in the past have called these “soft skills.” And I’m very, very glad that that’s changing, that people are finding different terms for this. They’re saying now like emotional intelligence or social emotional learning. They’re using these different terms because I think it does all of us a great disservice to call these soft skills, because it implies that these skills are not important and that “hard skills” of just being able to, knowing how to do, I don’t know, a hard skill is somehow more important. And yeah, like I said, I think the reality is that the skills of reading a room, of knowing our own feelings and what’s going on in our own bodies, being able to communicate with others, listening, all of that is hugely important. And that they serve, they serve us in every area of our lives, our relationships, our current relationships, our future relationships, our work, our job in the workplace. I think that it even serves our kids for future job interviews in a way to be able to be able to have those kinds of emotional skills. That’s not the only reason we do it, but I think that it serves us in many different ways.

Kim: [00:26:01] Yeah.

Abby: [00:26:01] So, yeah.

Kim: [00:26:04] One more thing I wanted to ask you is, do we learn different things about story from observing and consuming arts versus creating arts?

Abby: [00:26:16] Yes, I actually do think that there’s different things we gain gained from both of those. and this is something I’m actually thinking about a lot, because in History Makers, the arts course that Culture Canvas has. We do a lot of observing. We do a lot of looking at the arts. And a big part of that is. I’ve done some training in critical thinking. The National Gallery of Art in D.C., they do. They put out a course of critical thinking through art and they do an amazing job with it. It’s so good. And I’m actually pursuing that further doing like a summer institute coming up pretty soon that is going even deeper into that, into this critical thinking through the arts. And that’s a big part of what we do and what we’re learning. There’s actually a lot of research that shows that people sometimes call it slow looking, and it’s really just the the art of observation, being able to look at something. Slow down and really look. And I talk about that in History Makers sometimes. I think because it’s a kid’s class, I’m like, use the superpower of your eyes and like, really look and take your time and being able to notice details. And then even not just observing, but describing describing these details that we see or that we experience whatever the art form is and being able to verbalize those things I think is huge for what we were talking about earlier. See, from another’s perspective, you know, like

Abby: [00:27:57] We. Oh, another thing I was going to say is going going back to it. Even like that’s something I’ve been learning recently, is you take all this time to observe and soak it in and look at the details. And then even when you think you’re finished, go back to it again. Look at it, you know, verbalize some of that and then look at it again, because there’s always more to glean from it and to more details to get. And I think that, yeah, going back to what I was saying before, how it connects with perspectives is. I really, really think that for especially this generation with so many distractions, it’s huge, it’s a huge thing for students, for anybody to learn how to slow down and look at the details and then be able to observe, verbalize and also reflect. That reflection piece is also huge for students. And it helps us to to really dive into someone else’s perspective,

Abby: [00:29:01] To really step into somebody else’s story. And that’s a difficult thing sometimes, like I said, especially for our generation with so many distractions, to really step into someone else’s story and like walk in their shoes and be empathetic and compassionate and really understand what it might be like to be this other person and what they’re dealing with. It’s going to help us connect. It’s going to help us connect with ourselves and with others. So I think that that whole slow looking observation, that whole process helps us with that.

And then the whole creation process, creating is taking what you’ve gleaned from going into someone else’s story, into someone else’s perspective, and then making it your own and making it your own story. And it might just be a small part of your story of like, well, this is this is how it fits into me and who I am. This is my mark that I have to put on it. But it’s a way of integrating the creation process. Creating is a way of integrating with someone else’s story and our own stories, I think.

Kim: [00:30:07] Hmmm. Yeah, that’s a really interesting way to look at it, and one of the things I love about history makers is that you’re looking at artists from all over the world. It’s not a Eurocentric, American centric look at the arts. And that, I think, is especially attractive for TCKs and people who have lived outside the Western world to have these insights into a lot of different parts of the world and different artists and different life stories and different life experiences.

Abby: [00:30:39] Yes, totally, and that was a huge goal for History Makers was, and that’s something that always bothered me with a lot of this arts appreciation curriculum is so Eurocentric or Western. And it just bothered me because it was like, I know how important representation is and how important it is for kids from who’ve lived all over the world and kids who are from all over the world to be able to look at these global artists and say, oh, they look like me or they look like the people around me. And anyone can be creative. Anyone can be can tell their own story in a creative way. And that’s so important for kids to know that. So, yeah, not only not only has that been a big focus, but I’m also working, right now I have a partner who is helping me, starting to help with some of The Culture Canvas and History Makers. And it’s important to me that not only is she a TCK, but she is from a different cultural background. Her parents are Chinese American. And, yeah, that’s been really important to me to bring in other people as well that bring other perspectives, because I don’t want to be preaching all of this and saying like, oh, all these different perspectives are so important and yet, like, I’m not leading by example. And so that’s been exciting lately to just be partnering with her more fully and having her take on a lot of things. Because, I mean, the reality is that her perspective is hugely important because of her cultural background, because she’s a TCK, you know, all of these things. And also her gifts and strengths as well.

Kim: [00:32:25] Well, that’s great. Can you tell us a little bit about what you have coming up and how people can find you?

Abby: [00:32:31] Yeah. Right now, every month we have a History Makers Live Art Party. So it’s on Zoom and we do. It’s been so much fun lately. Like we each month have had kids from all over. Like I always ask at the beginning of the class, like, where are you in the world right now? And it’s always like Uganda, Russia, Oman, all these different places. And it’s been so fun. I didn’t expect that. That wasn’t really a planned thing. But I think that for kids who are TCKs and living in these different places, I think it’s actually – the more I think about it, the more I think it’s really important for them to get on there and be like, oh, these kids are like me. They’re living in other places. And it’s like a connection point for them and it kind of normalizes things for them. That’s just been really fun to watch how that has progressed. But yeah, we’re doing monthly Art Parties. Four to ten is the target age group for that. We’re actually going to start doing it for about 45 minutes. We were doing 30 minutes, but we found that that was wasn’t enough time. And it’s only $7. So it’s a steal.

Kim: [00:33:42] Yeah.

Abby: [00:33:43] It’s a huge deal. Hop on my newsletter. That’s the best way to get information about the Art Parties that are coming up and how to register and how to get in there and everything. So yeah, that’s the main way is our newsletter, and I think you’ll be able to put the website for that.

Kim: [00:34:00] Yes, I’ll have a link in the show notes, yeah.

Abby: [00:34:03] Great, great. Yeah, it’s just culturecanvas.org. Yeah, Kim will be able to put that exact link. The other way to connect is just on Instagram, I post pretty frequently on Instagram and try to stay active on it. I enjoy sharing our life here in Nepal and different things that I’m thinking about. I’ve always loved writing and so it’s a big way that, a creative outlet for me is like pictures and writing of just like our life here in Nepal. So I post information about The Culture Canvas and History Makers on there, too. And that is just AbbyVerity on Instagram. It’s AbbyVerity.

Kim: [00:34:40] Ok, good. Well, thank you again so much, I really appreciate you taking time to come and talk with us and give us a new perspective.

Abby: [00:34:51] I very much enjoyed it, too, and I always enjoy our talks and discussions and I’m glad we got to do this.

This is the fifth and last part of a series on storytelling: why it’s important for expats & TCKs and how to go about it. If you missed the others, catch up on episodes 21-24: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

In episode 26 we hear from Abby Williamson at The Culture Canvas about her love of the arts (many different mediums), and how we can build critical thinking skills and social emotional learning through the arts. She explains how we can explore, understand and integrate our life stories through creativity and the arts, and the importance of practicing this skill.

The Culture Canvas supports TCKs and anyone in transition who wants to grow in global perspectives and global learning, looking at things from multiple perspectives, and critical thinking. Abby’s background includes being a professional ballet dancer, going to art school, teaching in public schools, working in international schools, and a certification in Montessori. Her husband is a TCK and they’re raising two sons, who are third-generation TCKs, currently in Nepal near Kathmandu.

How to connect with Abby Williamson:

Website: CultureCanvas.org

Instagram: @abbyverity

Email Abby

we have a lot of pressure and expectations for how we process

What is story, in the context of expats and TCKs?

In the context of TCKs and globally mobile families, story is crucial. In her book Third Culture Kids A Gift To Care For, Ulrika Ernvik talks about the importance of TCKs telling their own stories and how that helps them own their stories. 

It can be hard for TCKs to own their stories, to evaluate the many moving parts of different worlds and cultures they inhabit, to latch on and say, “This is who I am; this is my story.”

But at the same time, it’s super important to do that. It’s part of a process of integrating their different worlds and lives they lead in different places. It’s a way of claiming territory: staking a claim and saying, “OK, this is my life. It’s different than a lot of people in my passport country. But that’s OK. And this is what it looks like.

TCKs also have a hard time connecting with other people who aren’t TCKs. So this practice, this learned skill, of telling their own story is very important for their ability to connect with others.

Families can practice this skill of claiming and telling their own story, together.

The Culture Canvas is developing a new course for families. It’ll be a short and accessible roadmap for sitting around the dinner table and having these important discussions and connecting with each other. The goal is to make it easier to navigate some of those really difficult conversations.

Storytelling helps people remember information better than straight facts.

The Culture Canvas offers an interactive arts exploration program called History Makers for kids age 4-10. Kids learn about artists from around the globe, and create their own art using some of what they’ve learned.

In History makers, Abby incorporates storytelling in every lesson (as well as observation, reflection, and creating). She says storytelling is important for two main reasons:

1 – People remember information so much better when it’s in a story than if it’s presented as a series of facts and figures. Story helps us remember because we connect. 

In History Makers, Abby’s hope is for kids to connect with artists all around the world (who they were, their ideas) and connect with themselves (their own ideas and creativity). Abby does a great job of finding an interesting little tidbit from an artist’s life and weaving a compelling story around that, to help kids (and adults) connect with the artwork and artist. She says sometimes that’s pretty easy, while in some cases it takes a lot of research to figure out how to make it engaging for kids!

2 – Storytelling is a big help in social emotional learning. Storytelling encourages kids to develop listening skills and to process information in different ways. It also encourages them to tell their own stories too. “Well, this is how that person’s story went; what would it look like to tell my own story?

creativity unlocks deeper parts of ourselves

Part of being able to tell our stories is having adequate vocabulary.

It can be really hard for kids to express what’s going on inside. Some of that is not having the vocabulary to say,

“I did that because I’m feeling angry today.”

“I’m feeling sad. I’m feeling disappointed today.”

It’s normal for young kids to only have vocabulary for a few emotions. It’s a slow process but very worthwhile and valuable to build that vocabulary.

For TCKs, building that vocabulary is like putting tools in their toolbox. The more emotional intelligence and emotional vocabulary they have, the more easily they’ll be able to express what’s going on.

As kids get older, there’s a lot of really complex issues to work through around identity and place and belonging. It’s really layered. And it can be hard to express even in families who are really excellent communicators.

Practicing telling your story helps TCKs with the transition to university.

A friend’s eldest child just finished his first year at university. It was a difficult year for him. As he tried to find his identity and where he fit in, he was sort of “trying on” a new persona. He was not only new to the university experience, he was new to living in the United States, so everything was literally a new experience for him.

His friends perceived him as a very fun personality who loves new experiences and doing new things, super excited, with an almost naive, childlike persona.

But he said, “That’s not really me. I’m an extrovert, I get excited about things, but I’m not childlike. I like having serious, deep conversations too.”

Being able to process our own stories – where we’ve been & what that looked like, and where we are presently – helps us to express the aspects of life that are difficult and the good parts too.

creativity helps bypass how we've understood ourselves

Exploring our stories through creative mediums unlocks hidden expectations.

We have the more logical and reasoning power of the left brain, and the creativity of the right brain. When we use creativity and tell our stories in creative ways, it opens up a different way of processing. It helps us to get past the expectations we have for ourselves.

Without even realizing it, we come to our lives (discussions, activities, and all kinds of situations) with a set of expectations. Expats might think,

I should be able to handle this,” or

I should be handling it in this way,” or

I should be this kind of expat / this kind of person,” or

I should have an answer to this question.”

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves, including when we’re processing our stories, thinking we should filter things in a certain way. When we use the creative side of the brain we unlock these places in our hearts, in our minds, in our souls, that go past those expectations. It opens up so we can look at it in a different way from a different perspective.

By going through a creative medium, we bypass the way we’ve understood ourselves and the words we’ve put on that understanding of ourselves; and go in from another way. This can open up things we didn’t even know were there.

When we come at our experiences from a different angle it gives us new vocabulary for it.

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ABOUT HOST

Resilient Expats Kim Adams College and University Speaker

Hi there! I’m Kim Adams, member of Expat Coach Coalition and licensed practitioner for Adapt and Succeed Abroad. I’m an American raising three daughters along with my math teaching husband of 20+ years, currently in Oman.

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Connect with the broader international schools community as we examine issues that affect us all.

Thinking you can fix the world is totally naive. But it’s not naive to think you can change it. We change it all the time, whether we like it or not.

We learn from both “consuming” the arts and creating with the arts.

There’s a lot of research on what we gain from critical thinking through the arts. Sometimes the art of observation is called “slow looking.” Take your time, look closely, and notice details. Then describe those details; verbalize it; and then look again to glean even more details. With young kids in History Makers, Abby says, “Use the superpower of your eyes!”

This is an incredibly important skill, especially for the younger generation with so many distractions. To be able to observe, verbalize and also reflect, helps us to dive into someone else’s perspective. To really step into someone else’s story, walk in their shoes, be empathetic and compassionate … helps us connect. It helps us connect with others and with ourselves.

Creating, then, can be taking what you’ve gleaned from going into someone else’s story or perspective, and making it your own or putting your own mark on it. Creating helps us integrate others’ stories and our own stories.

telling stories is a learned skill

Social emotional learning provides critical life skills … not “extra” skills.

Sometimes skills such as being able to

    • communicate well,
    • listen well,
    • gauge and be sensitive to emotions and feelings in the room (“read the room”),
    • knowing our own feelings and what’s going on in our own bodies

… have been called “soft skills.” That does us all a great disservice, because it implies these skills are not as important as “hard skills.” Fortunately, that is changing. Now terms like emotional intelligence or social emotional learning are being used.

What we gain from social emotional learning serves us in every part of our lives: our relationships (current and future), our work, even in job interviews.

Anyone can be creative. Art isn’t a Eurocentric or Western field.

Unlike many arts appreciation curriculums that are Eurocentric or Western focused, in History Makers, students learn about artists and artforms from all over the globe. This is attractive for TCKs and their families, who’ve lived in many places. And it’s very important for all kids to see artists who look like them or like the people around them. 

Anyone can be creative! It’s so important for kids to know that anyone can tell their own story in a creative way.

Abby has brought in a partner in The Culture Canvas who’s a TCK and has a different cultural background than Abby. Not only does this bring additional gifts and strengths to the table, it’s a meaningful way to enact her belief in the importance of bringing in different perspectives.

TCKs have so many moving parts it's hard to latch on

Get a taste of History Makers in a Live Art Party.

Right now History Makers is having a live interactive Art Party each month on Zoom. The target age group is 4-10 years old. It lasts for about 45 minutes and is only $7 — a steal!

The kids love answering Abby’s questions and showing off their work. At the beginning of class she asks participants, “Where in the world are you right now?” Seeing all the countries listed in the chat is very affirming; a connection point for these TCKs to see, “Oh, these kids are like me.”

The best way to get information about the Art Parties coming up is to hop on Abby’s newsletter. You can also follow her posts on Instagram (@AbbyVerity), where she shares about her life in Nepal, and of course The Culture Canvas and History Makers.

How to connect with Abby Williamson:

Website: CultureCanvas.org

Instagram: @abbyverity

Email Abby

If you’d like to tell your own stories with others who “get” you, join expats.together., a weekly live chat.

While launching the group program adapt.succeed.together., we noticed that a lot of people were looking for more connection and social support. We responded by creating a weekly live chat on zoom called expats.together. 

Currently we’re doing a short Facebook Live every Wednesday at 11am CET, where we dive into a relevant (and sometimes provocative) topic. We’d love to hear your take, whether during the Live or in the comments.

Find details on the adapt.succeed.together. Facebook page under Events

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ABOUT YOUR HOST

Resilient Expats LLC Kim Adams

Kim Adams is an American raising three daughters along with her math teaching husband of 20+ years. She loves photography, reading, thunderstorms, walking on the beach, camping where there are no bugs, and has a weakness for mint chocolate chip ice cream.

As a member of Expat Coach Coalition, Kim is a licensed practitioner for Adapt and Succeed Abroad, a tested and proven program that helps you do just that: adapt, and succeed, no matter where you are.

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