What qualities of character led you to moving overseas?
Before we moved the first time, so many people told us,
“You’re so brave. I could never do that.”
They called our decision daring, gutsy, inspiring, admirable, and enviable. They thought we were fearless. (Because they thought there was something to fear.)
We didn’t feel particularly brave.
We merely accepted an opportunity for adventure. We stepped into a dream. We didn’t feel like we were giving up anything, but rather, gaining everything.
We were: Open. Trusting. Purposeful. Determined.
In the challenges we’ve faced in our 11 years overseas, it’s often those same qualities that have seen us through.
We’ve definitely had bumps along the way.
- We didn’t have the skills to navigate workplace culture at first. Being in an international community was fascinating, exhilarating even! And exhausting.
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- Insecurity rose up and made us critical and controlling. It was disguised, even to us, as wanting to improve things. But it was really about wanting systems and standards to work the same ways we were used to.
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- We were tempted to run away from problems. Someday I might tell about the time we went on vacation and very nearly accepted a job offer on the spot. In the middle of the school year.
But we decided we wanted to leave a place only when we were running toward something, not running away.
- We were tempted to run away from problems. Someday I might tell about the time we went on vacation and very nearly accepted a job offer on the spot. In the middle of the school year.
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We lost a clear sense of purpose at times, and drifted along. We let life happen to us, rather than create the life we wanted to live.
We matured through those experiences. More recently, people have described us as “a steady, calm presence” or “a place others can shelter.”
There are still challenges, though!
That’s life.
This year feels like a metamorphosis.
… We’re dealing with puberty and menopause at the same time. My husband has taken on way more responsibility at work. Our social outlets have changed due to his job.
… I’ve stepped up my game in building an online business. Meanwhile, the “baby” is now a preschooler who’s bored when I sit at my computer.
… We’ve had unusual weather patterns, damage to our house, and temporary displacement. Our host country’s leadership changed this week, and tensions with Iran have heated up.
Sometimes I feel totally inadequate!
So here’s a technique to help you channel your superpowers:
Draw inspiration from a fictional character
When you’re faced with challenges, think of a character you admire.
“What would SHE do … say … think ?”
Sometimes it’s easier to conjure up a new feeling when you pretend to be someone else.
Story is powerful. It transports your imagination.
Amazingly, what your imagination believes, your body also believes!
So go ahead, call on your inner warrior. Or your inner princess, witch, or superhero!
What’s it gonna be? Choose your X factor. Assume the essential quality. Embrace the philosophy, approach to life, or modus operandi that gives you a spark!
Of course, don’t take the metaphor too far. You don’t have to incorporate every aspect of the character or plot. Focus on the qualities of character and patterns of behavior that inspire you.
In case you need help getting started, here are a few ideas. There are a lot of kids’ movies in here because, well, I have young kids. When I actually sit down to watch a movie it’s usually one the whole family can watch together. But back in the day, I did watch some grown up movies!
What qualities of character sustain you when life is difficult?
What’s your current struggle? How do you want to be inspired? What traits do you want to boost or inject into your life?
Knowing your power
Glinda the good witch – Wizard of Oz.
Wise, compassionate, and unselfish, she always has time to stop and listen to others. Glinda is always composed. She knows her own power, and gently guides her pupils toward self empowerment. Plus, she knows how to wear sparkle!
Leading an effective team
Elastigirl – The Incredibles.
Efficient, practical and competent with all the trials of motherhood and marriage. She’s smart, sassy, and doesn’t take any bluff. But she really comes alive with purpose and energy when she embraces her true identity. She captains an incredible team, and leads each to become their own best selves. She champions the unique strengths of each team member. She learns the joy of watching her kids grow into who they’re meant to be.
Determination
Mulan.
A creative thinker who’s willing to defy expectation to serve an ideal. Fiercely loyal, and humble. She builds her own strength with quiet determination.
Uncompromising
Tiana – The Princess and The Frog.
Clear on her goals, driven by passion, dedicated for the long haul, undeterred by hard work. She never compromises her principles. She learns that it’s also good to relax and unwind.
Self improvement
Bridget Jones.
Doesn’t take herself too seriously. Incompetent and slightly desperate in a way that makes her relatable. Imminently likable despite – or because of – her many flaws. Doesn’t apologize for her goals, is committed to self improvement, and has fun all along the way.
Focus
Hermione – Harry Potter.
Completely owns her goals. Challenges her peers, works to learn new skills and become the best version of herself. Questions authority and stands for social justice.
Wisdom
Yoda – Star Wars.
Magical wisdom. Supreme confidence. Easy to remember one liners summon jedi mentality: “Let go of everything you fear to lose.” and “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Plus, it’s just fun to turn life into yoda-isms! More fun is life, like Yoda when you speak.
Grounded and free
Laura Ingalls.
Exudes a sense of fresh freedom. Curious and bright, she loves deeply and lets the land and the place have a piece of her heart. She might seem a rootless wanderer, but in reality wherever she is, she’s home.
Find the beauty
Belle – Beauty and the Beast.
Down to earth and compassionate, she sees beauty in everything. She loves to educate herself and explore, is brave and willing to fight when needed.
Creative and bold
Indiana Jones.
Adventurous yet sensible. Does his homework and takes calculated risks for a favorable outcome. Remains very human and knows the power of humor.
Improvisation
James Bond.
When things don’t go as planned, he’s always ready to improvise. He takes advantage of the latest gadgets to help him work smarter, not harder. Understands that action (with sheer confidence and courage) can be better than persuasion.
Indomitable
Erin Brokovich.
Unstoppable, pragmatic, fearless, proud and passionate. She doesn’t let a lack of training hold her back.
Imagine, in story form
Spend a few minutes imagining how that character might handle the situation you’re in now. If you weave it into a story, your brain absorbs it in a whole different way. You can take it in without judgment.
At a minimum, it’ll be a fun escape to lighten your mood. And you just might get a surprising spark of inspiration!
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