What’s your first priority when you move to a new country?
A friend of mine confided how shocked she was at the questions newcomers ask. Things she considered so basic, she couldn’t believe people had been here for months and still hadn’t figured out. Things like, “Where can I find a doctor for xxxx?”
She said no matter where she goes, her first thoughts are always about contingency planning: What’s the escape route? What will I do in case of emergency? How do we get help? She said within the first week of living here, she had scoped out all of the hospitals, and had acquired a rope long enough to reach from their balcony (several floors up) to the ground.
“You’re unusual,” I laughed.
When I get to a new place, I’m all about finding the gluten free food options. What’s on my mind is how I will feed my family.
Five years in, I still don’t have a rope.
This made me curious about whether my friend was truly unusual. So I conducted an informal survey, asking what’s the first thing people focus on when they arrive in a new place. The responses were amazing! Such a variety!
Informal survey results: Preparing for emergencies is not a top priority
I got 130 responses, and grouped them loosely into these categories:
Shopping – 23% – knowing where to shop, including for food, or where to eat out, was one of the most common primary concerns
Wellness, Self-care & Entertainment – 22% – good coffee, exercise options, salons, and bookshops were among the varied requirements
Social needs – 17% – including things like finding schools, a church, living in a safe community, and making friends
Healthcare or Emergency – 16% – finding a new doctor, dentist, vet, or English speaking hospital came up frequently; rarely mentioned were things like knowing emergency exits, finding the embassy or police station, or having an escape plan
Technology – 11% – many said getting internet connectivity was a primary task, but this category also includes telephone, banking, and workspaces
Transportation – 11% – figuring out routes to work and public transportation systems
Out of all the responses, there were VERY few (around 2%) that I’d categorize as emergency contingency planning. So I feel confident saying my friend is on the unusual side! 🙂
But I’d like us all to learn a thing or two from her.
Honestly, in the midst of the craziness of setting up life in a new country, I’m not going to move emergency contingency planning to the top of my list. Things like rehearsing a fire escape plan and evacuation procedures are important and lifesaving of course, but will have to wait just a little while. That’s the reality for me.
However, ….
Urgent situations happen to all of us
There are super practical ways to plan for minor emergencies. Minor emergencies, or urgent situations, happen to us all. I’ll share some that happened to me:
Example 1
We climbed the hundreds of stairs to Doi Suthep, surveyed the stunning gold, watched the place transform at dusk, clanged some bells, watched gold leaf fluttering in the breeze, listened to the peaceful sound of monks chanting. It was magical.
My daughter (about 6 years old) declared she was ready to leave, and teased that she would go without me. I knew she wouldn’t. I turned back to the rest of our group (husband, younger daughter, and grandparents).
Moments later we couldn’t find Hannah.
One of her favorite games was hide and seek. I cursed that game at such an inopportune time. We rushed around looking for her behind trees, corners and people. She was wearing a bright yellow sweater, easy to pick out of a crowd.
Just in case she had actually tried to leave on her own accord, I stood at the top of the stairs, searching carefully. There was no sign of yellow. I was absolutely sure she was not there.
We circled the grounds multiple times, calling her name. By then I knew she wasn’t playing hide and seek (at least, not any more … had someone snuck her down an alley out of sight?).
As time went on with no sign of her, thoughts of all the subversive things that happen in Thailand (child trafficking, molestation rings) crowded my mind. I felt on the verge of true panic.
Eventually, grandma and grandpa decided to expand our search down the staircase. A little while later, they had good news: she was sitting on a bench at the bottom of the staircase, petting a puppy.
Learn from my mistakes so you’re more prepared
Lesson number 1: Grandpa reminded us gently that it’s always a good idea to have a contingency plan, a meeting point just in case you get separated from each other.
Lesson number 2: Know your own child’s weakness. For this one, any little creature (especially a soft snuggly one) would dissolve all of her better sense.
Lesson number 3: Your child just might do something you are sure she/he wouldn’t do!
Granted, my kids are all very easy going. I’m sure many of you are shaking your heads at my naiveté! As you read my story above, you were shouting at me, “She went down the staircase!!”
So, did I learn from this experience? Yes. And no.
Yes, we are much more clear with our kids when entering a busy mall or crowded event about the importance of staying together. We pay attention to their whereabouts and don’t move off without them. Sometimes we establish a meeting point / contingency plan.
And … I get lulled into comfort by living in a small town and having kids who are generally very responsible. So I got another reminder.
Exampe 2
While shopping for clothes, the kids were playing hide and seek among the clothing racks. When I was finished, the two younger ones (about 7 and 3) were busy playing and didn’t want to follow. I told them I was going to the checkout counter.
Long story short, they didn’t realize where the checkout counter was in that store. They went to the “checkout” they knew (at the store we usually go to) … across the mall… downstairs… and across the mall again. Needless to say, we were all very relieved to find each other!
Lesson number 4: Review the need for a meeting point. And then review again.
The next time we were shopping for clothes, I made sure they knew exactly where I was, and they were happy to stick close by.
Call on friends when you need help
A different issue I had was in the hospital.
Example 3
When my middle daughter was young she had a lot of upper respiratory issues. (We’re past that now thanks to Buteyko breathing!) During one prolonged bout of cold-and-cough-turned-ugly, the doctor ordered a procedure that sounded unnecessarily traumatic.
I felt pressured. I wanted to talk it over with someone, I wanted time to process, I wanted perspective. I felt really trapped in that moment, and agreed to the procedure.
It was traumatic … for both of us!
And then, the doctor looked at the results and said, “Meh, that didn’t really help.”
I was livid.
Lesson number 5: Have your rolodex ready! Know who you can call to discuss different types of healthcare and medical situations.
The thing is, I HAD someone I could call, but I didn’t remember until after I got home. She explained that this sort of procedure is ordered sooner there than it would be at home, and we may have had room for watchful waiting.
To be clear, my point is not whether or not the procedure should have been done. I might have decided to go ahead after talking with a knowledgable friend. My point is that I felt pressured in that moment, and lost track of the fact that I COULD access people to help me.
Now I am much more careful about tucking that information into a safe corner of my mind (and phone)!
Write down the phone numbers you might need. Don’t rely on your phone only.
When I had another medical issue, freshly arrived in a new country, I at least had someone to call.
Example 4
My middle daughter had been home with a no-name illness and was a little on the fussy side. She was standing next to me, then suddenly called out, and collapsed. She lost consciousness and turned blue around the edges.
I panicked!
I quickly went through my mental rolodex of who to call. Ambulance? Husband? Neighbor? Nurse friend?
My strongest memory is actually of how looooong it took to dial the number. I didn’t know my way around this new phone yet. I wasn’t used to entering a password. My hands were trembling.
Once I confirmed she was breathing, I was able to actually complete a call.
Lesson number 6: Have emergency numbers written & posted. Especially when systems are new to you.
Grab your resources today for more tips.
I’ve taken my own hard earned experience, plus that of friends, and packaged it up for you in a super practical workbook. It hits a broad range of topics, focused on situations you are likely to encounter.
I’ve pulled together pointers not just for medical emergencies, but for unexpected situations at school or at home, with your transportation, your pets or your finances. It includes
- Things to consider
- Actions to take
- Conversations to have
- Questions to ask
- Phone numbers to collect and keep in easy reach
Reducing stress so you can focus more clearly on life is one part of my mission to raise a healthier generation of expats.
We're Prepared
Emergency Planning Workbook for Expat Families
- Feel comforted as you move through a guided process.
- Untangle the worries you keep pushing aside.
- Feel weight come off your shoulders as you realize how much you already know.
Be kind: Share with someone you care about.
Who do you know who could benefit from this workbook? Do them a favor and tell them now.
