EPISODE 27 SHOW NOTES

Re-Imagine Community, with Ivy Summer and Pare Gerou

Reimagine community with Ivy Summer and Pare Gerou Expat Family Connection podcast episode 27

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EPISODE 27 SHOWNOTES

Re-Imagine Community, with Ivy Summer and Pare Gerou

BY KIM ADAMS

Click “+” below for detailed show notes and full text transcript. Scroll down for the blog post.

Do you like the idea of built-in community and connection combined with plenty of privacy? Do you wish your children had freedom to play outside and with neighborhood friends at any time? Do you want to retire in a country with low cost of living, gorgeous weather and deliciously fresh, healthy food? Then it’s worth your time to learn more about Greek Village Cohousing.

“It’s really for anyone who is drawn to community. That’s what it comes down to. If you have a desire to be in greater connection with other people and connection with the land, then cohousing is for you.”

Learn

  • What cohousing is (and isn’t);
  • Why it’s great for families;

and so much more.

I think you’ll be inspired!

RESOURCES mentioned in the episode: 

Greek Village Cohousing website or Facebook Page

Article in Athens Insider about Greek Village Cohousing 

Video – hear from families & children about the cohousing experience

The Cohousing Association of America Cohousing.org is a wealth of information and resources.

Greek Village Cohousing are planning a community focused on healthy and relaxed living, being in nature near the sea and mountains, and giving children the enriching experience of having people around from many nations with all sorts of talents and skills to share. There’s an information coffee Zoom every Friday, and the Outreach coordinator and original founder Pare Gerou is available for any and all questions. 

Greek Village Cohousing has just re-opened membership, and has had lots of interest from expat families who recognize the wonderful advantages of living in a cohousing community. It’s an instant tribe for the children, with an enriching environment and wonderful sense of freedom. It’s a strong support system for parents and leads to a relaxed and more fulfilling life as a parent: No more planning playdates or driving children all over the place. Pare says she found her years in cohousing transformational as a parent.

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ABOUT TODAY’S GUESTS:

Ivy Summer is a diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEIB) expert with a decade of experience who has helped hundreds of people routinely become proactive allies to marginalized and oppressed groups in a multitude of ways. Her mission is to empower organizations to benefit from unique contributions that stem from the diversity of their employees and customers. She has coached folks in building a routine in their own business by doing an internal audit on contracts, websites, sales copy, imagery, email campaigns, and marketing to make inclusion a cohesive component in a brand. 

Outside of her DEIB work with community-based organizations, nonprofits, and big tech, Ivy has coached yoga instructors, piano teachers, retirees, parents, social media influencers, and more to help them make incremental changes to express allyship in both business and interpersonal parts of life. Aligned with her mission to empower and enable others, she offers pre-built event plans for DEIB-themed workshops that are designed for you to facilitate in your own community.

Pare Gerou is an Immigration Attorney with a specialization in refugee law, and she spent many wonderful years raising her son at Touchstone Cohousing in Ann Arbor, Michigan. It was there that she fell in love with cohousing as a parent, and during the pandemic, she decided to marry her love of cohousing with her love of Greece.  As a child, she relished her summers on the beautiful island of Lesvos.  Now with her cohousing group of wonderful talented people, she is looking forward to fresh food from the Greek gardens and cooking with friends, trips to the beach and hiking in the mountains, learning Greek folk dance and listening to music, living with warm and welcoming people of Greece, exploring a beautiful country, and living a Greek lifestyle that is genuinely happier and healthier in her opinion. 

CONNECT WITH Ivy Summer and Pare Gerou:

Greek Village Cohousing website www.GreekVillageCohousing.com and Facebook Page

Email Pare: GreekVillageCohousing@gmail.com

Email Ivy: ourlifeinreview@gmail.com

Ivy’s website: ThatPlace.Rocks

Ivy on LinkedIn

Instagram: @LunchWithIvy

  •  

ABOUT YOUR HOST:

Kim Adams is an American raising three daughters along with her math-teaching husband of 20 years. She loves photography, reading, thunderstorms, walking on the beach, camping where there are no bugs, and has a weakness for mint chocolate chip ice cream.

CONNECT WITH KIM:

Book your Free 30 minute call to ask me anything! I’d love to help guide you in your expat life journey.

Email Kim

Resilient Expats LLC website  |  Facebook page  |  Free Parents Community on Facebook

Affiliate Links: Some links may be affiliate referrals. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Kim: [00:00:00] Today’s episode is about community. I hear from expats two different experiences: Many people are surprised and really thrilled by that strong sense of community they get when they have this new international group of friends and they have this really strong bond. It forms very quickly through that sharing of hardships and adventures. It reminds me of how I made friends really quickly and those really strong bonds from going to camps in the summer where I went away from home, or a spring break trip where we were on the road and doing volunteer work, bringing people together that I wouldn’t have come into contact with otherwise, but just that really that really close bond.

Kim: [00:00:49] So there’s that sense of family. Because you don’t have those same support structures and networks that you might have had back home. But you rely on people and really a different way. You know, like maybe if you got hurt, you might not want to call your boss to carry you to the car and drive you to the hospital. But sometimes that’s the only person who’s available for that call. So you do rely on people in different ways.

Kim: [00:01:17] And on the other side, the other thing that I hear from people is this profound sense of loneliness, that struggle to find community. Sometimes it takes a lot of time to find new friends and connections. Sometimes you don’t mesh very well with the place or the people or the culture. Or for whatever reason, it can be really hard. And that highlights how important it is to have that sense of belonging. And that can happen when people move to a new country, but it can also happen when people move to their own country after living abroad.

Kim: [00:01:53] So today we’re going to talk about a very special type of community called cohousing, and a very special example of cohousing that is built with expats in mind. I have two guests with me today, Pare Gerou and Ivy Summer, who are part of the team organizing a cohousing development in Greece called Greek Village Cohousing. Pare spent time in Greece as a child and lived in cohousing for several years with her son. So she’s bringing those two things that she loves together in a Greek cohousing community. Ivy has lived in a type of community called coliving. She is now married to a Greek man and lives in Greece, and says this cohousing concept could not be a better match to her ideal living situation. So I want to welcome both of you to the podcast. It’s a pleasure to have you here.

Pare: [00:02:50] Thank you.

Ivy: [00:02:51] Thank you.

Kim: [00:02:52] All right, let’s explain for our listeners what is meant by this term cohousing. And could you maybe distinguish that from other forms of intentional community like coliving and pocket neighborhoods and things like that? And how cohousing is conceived of differently in different countries?

Pare: [00:03:15] Thank you for having us, Kim. We were really thrilled because cohousing is really about families. The history of cohousing is all about family. In Denmark in the 60s, a group of families came together because they were all living in typical suburban communities, some of them expats, some of them Danish. And they read an article called I think something like “Children Need 100 Parents.” I think that’s what it was called. And they were feeling isolated. They were feeling like they didn’t have the support they needed. And so this feeling that you’ve described that expats can have is exactly what the community in Denmark was feeling. And among them was a an architect who had been taking classes at Harvard and visiting some US experimental communities. And from that grew this incredible movement that has just exploded, where families have found such a supportive and wonderful place to land. It’s evolved over the course of several decades to incorporate a lot of best practices, from former studies and from anecdotal information that’s passed down.

Pare: [00:04:45] So at this point in Greece, we think what we have going on in Greek village cohousing, as well as the cohousing communities all over the world, is something that expat families haven’t known about and it’s ideal for them.

Pare: [00:05:03] So in Greece, we plan to be using what is typically called cohousing around the world. But in other countries, of course, they have different names for it. The name in the original Danish name was something like “living housing.” It doesn’t translate well, but what it’s trying to capture is a unique situation, a unique experience, of the village reimagined — and maybe even improved upon. It has the best interests of families with children in mind because that is its roots. So there’s a number of different design elements, physical design elements that are unique. And there are a number of different social design elements that are unique. But it all comes together in a way that as a parent, I found to be transformative.

Kim: [00:06:02] Very nice. So can you tell us a little bit more about what it’s like to live in cohousing and what are those those design elements, the core elements of cohousing?

Pare: [00:06:13] Well, it is a design movement, it is a social design movement, and it’s an architectural design movement. I could start with maybe some of the architectural features. The physical layout of the community is designed around supporting parents and supporting children, among other things. It does not generally have any cars. You park your cars on the periphery and you bring your things in on a little wagon usually. And this allows children to be free. The houses are generally clustered close together around a beautiful common house. And that cluster makes it really easy for everybody to be watching the children as they play. Usually the kitchen windows look out on a green or in our case, maybe a Greek village plateia plus a green. The common lands are designed for everyone’s use and they’re designed with beautiful areas for connection and fun. And the common house I mentioned is another huge design feature. We live more sustainably and we live sharing time and sharing some spaces. We have our own private houses, but we share this big, beautiful common house and it has a big kitchen where we cook and eat together and it also has a children’s playroom usually. So those are a couple of the design elements, physically, that cohousing usually includes.

Kim: [00:07:54] It sounds great to me, and it reminds me of in some ways of how we lived on a school campus at our last place, and it had that pedestrian aspect. All the cars had to stay around the outside. And a bit of shared child care and a lot of socializing. Now, the downside of the situation we were in is that we all worked together as well. And so when you work all day together and then do all your socializing together, for some people that was a little bit difficult. But this sounds like kind of the best of both worlds that you have your own life. If you work outside of home, you go off and do that, and then you come back and have all of that social support right there.

Pare: [00:08:39] I think it’s particularly wonderful in Greece, there’s just something about Greece that makes it all come together beautifully. Ivy lives in Greece right now. She’s lived there now for many years. And I think she has helped us capture, you know, what’s important about Greece right now and why it is such an incredibly perfect place to to be relocating to. Why do you think Greece is ideal Ivy?

Ivy: [00:09:08] Well, I can’t help but mention that meme that you might have seen online where you see several different photos of, you know, security cameras in other countries, and this is the way we we secure our community. And in Greece, you just have three old women on a balcony looking around, knowing everything that’s going on in town. And so there’s a culture already of, you know, we’ll watch your kids because we all live in the same community and we all want the best for the people who are living in this community. And that means acting like a kind of family in a sense. And so that’s what I experience while I’m there. I find it very easy to spark up a conversation that might last for a couple hours with the neighbors, just the locals. And they make the time for those social interactions and really highly value relationships. And that’s pretty much a core part of cohousing is, you know, you have this common interest and you’re building relationships not only with the people who are living in your community, but, you know, the locals, what surrounds the community as well. It’s just part of the culture. And so Greece and its culture plays into that very well. There’s also a fairly low cost of living relative to many other Western countries.

Ivy: [00:10:39] And there’s also a really spectacular golden visa program going on right now in Greece. Golden visa for those who may not know, is to purchase property and to obtain permanent residence by doing so. I’d say especially since the pandemic, the height of the pandemic in 2020, we saw the debut of visa programs that are really great for people who work remotely, people who are interested in being location independent. And there’s some really cool tax advantages that come along with that, as well as purchasing property or new developments in general. So the sum of all of these great perks makes Greece a really wonderful location, not to mention the sun and the weather and the proximity to the city, the mountain, the beach, the parks and the rich history that exists there.

Kim: [00:11:53] Yeah, that sounds great. And when we talked before, one of the things that really attracted me to at least your conception and your vision for this community is bringing expats and Greeks together in one community. And I just loved that because I feel that it can be difficult for expats to kind of bridge and get out of the expat bubble. I mean, it depends on the circumstances and the culture and depends on a lot of factors. But I do see a lot of people kind of struggle to bridge that gap.

Ivy: [00:12:29] I think it’s important to just say that we, again, love the Greek culture and it fits so well into the project that we’re creating here and we’re not trying to create an expat enclave. Right. We’re not trying to create something that exclusive. And we want to support the country where we want our community to thrive. And a big part of that is being inclusive, especially of the locals and the native there. Pare, is there something that you want to add?

Pare: [00:13:05] Well, Ivy is great to speak to this. She actually, as a profession, among other things, is a diversity and inclusion professional, and she’s really helped guide us because we feel that it’s really important to have a diverse population in our community. That’s something that expat communities tend to lack. And we’re really striving for an international community, multilingual children, even into the school context. There are private schools in the area. But just yesterday, I was having a conversation with the developer who’s putting us in contact with the local university and private school. And we’re looking for ways to even create a school environment that is much more inclusive with refugee families, with expat families and with Greek families all living together and going to school together. We think it just makes for a richer and more meaningful experience.

Kim: [00:14:14] Yeah, and I do think that the schooling question is a big question for a lot of for families. If you have kids, then that’s a huge piece of the puzzle to figure out. So can you say just a little bit more about what the options are currently and what options… Because you mentioned there might be somebody there who’s interested in building a school even within or close to the community, but that is down the road, right? So currently, would you be looking at putting your kids into a Greek speaking school system or if you went to a private school, are there English speaking options or what are the options that you know of?

Pare: [00:14:52] Yeah, well, you mentioned the participatory design aspect of cohousing, and it’s true, you know, cohousing is DIY. One of the features of cohousing is that you don’t just take things as they are. There are classic private schools and English speaking schools all over Greece, and they are excellent. And in keeping with the same standards of, for instance, IB schools all over the world.

Ivy: [00:15:23] I also want to add, though, that’s a huge part of our property search for the first phase of it was to include that in our criteria. And we’re not going to look at some property that isn’t in close proximity to private schools, public schools, those options. And so our top contender does is in close proximity to private school and public school.

Pare: [00:15:51] That’s right, Ivy and and Adonis and another member of our group just came back from a property search, and that was one of our most important criteria. We thought that we would have to do several different property searches. But this just was an incredible experience. And the property we came back with was better than our wildest dreams. We just found something that’s amazing. We don’t know if it’s going to work out. We’re just beginning the negotiation process. But we’ve got a great top contender and we’ve got awesome second contenders. And, you know, I just can’t help but share just a tiny bit about what we’re negotiating on right now. Ivy was there. Tell us a little bit about the property that you all three liked the most.

Ivy: [00:16:41] Yes, so like I said, in close proximity to schools, and the city in which those are located is 18 minutes, 20 minutes drive from where our cohousing community would be. And very, very close to the sea, about a 30 minute drive. And the piece of property is literally a mountain and a valley, with traditional Greek churches already built with a couple of ponds. It’s situated very nicely right next to at least 15 hiking trails and a forest. They just hosted an international motocross race right there on the property. So we’re talking about something very, very large where we have, I guess, our pick of the litter, a few different places on the property where we could potentially build our community. The view is just enormous and gorgeous, rolling hills and sunny skies. I tried to take a panoramic shot and I couldn’t fit it all in. I wanted to keep keep going with my camera, but it wouldn’t. And it’s already has a vineyard there. So the grapes will be ready to pick in September. It’s got 15 horses in their stables. It’s got pigs and goats and deer that are specific to the Peloponnese in Greece. There was a little porcupine family walking around on the property and it’s extremely biodiverse with over 300 species of plants on the property. And re-created ruins that were inspired by the architecture and structures in Agion Oros, which is translates to Holy Mountain in Greece. So there is a lot there and just so much potential. It really blew us away. There’s already a patio made of stone with a souvla and firewood oven, which we got to use and eat from. And it was fantastic. And I want to say I don’t like mosquitoes. There’s not a lot of mosquitoes there. I didn’t get eaten alive, which is fantastic.

Kim: [00:19:12] Excellent.

Ivy: [00:19:13] Yeah. So we’re talking about something that really checks all the boxes. I’ve got stars in my eyes. But we’re going to take it one step at a time, really, really hoping the best for this negotiation period, which is going very smoothly. So we’re very excited about this. The whole point is this is going to mature, right? And there are so many different types of trees. Lemon, cherry, kiwi grows very well in Greece. We have chestnut trees. We have big trees, pears, apples that you’d be able to pick as you’re strolling through this land and eat. And so the entire point is that we can be as sustainable as possible and and really, really intentional about even down to the types of plants that are there and native to the area. So ten out of ten.

Kim: [00:20:14] Yes, 10 out of 10, that’s a nice way to say it. So another question that I would have as a potential prospective, someone who wants to learn more. One of the questions I would ask has to do with job opportunities in the area. And I know that Greece is making itself more attractive for digital workers. If someone were to say, I don’t have that type of skill set or I don’t have a job that’s all online, and I really want to be working in person somewhere. Are there any job opportunities locally that you’re aware of that would potentially draw people? Or even if it’s if that’s not the draw, that would let people earn a little bit of income and be doing something active?

Ivy: [00:21:02] So I would say that the hospitality industry is very big here and a lot of economic growth and potential, exists in the hospitality industry and the food and beverage industry. Greeks are big on their food. And so there’s a lot of that available. There’s also a lot of artisanal opportunities here when it comes to handmade or homemade anything.

Ivy: [00:21:34] And the development around this area where we’re looking, there is a lot of opportunity. Like I said, it’s only 20 minutes from the city and there are if you’re interested in something more like retail or if you’re interested in teaching, perhaps tutoring English, teaching English, tutoring for any kind of subject in school or even for adults learning a new language, or interested in a specific type of consulting, those types of opportunities would definitely exist here. I noticed that when I walked down the street in Greece, there are so many mom and pop shops, like every family has become their own entrepreneur. So I feel like a very big entrepreneurial spirit. And like I said, they highly value relationships and relationship building. So once you get in a routine of getting to know the locals, getting to know people and they understand what kinds of opportunities you’re seeking, they are more than willing to help you out.

Kim: [00:22:44] Ok, that’s great.

Pare: [00:22:46] Ivy just mentioned. You were talking about how to integrate into to the local community wherever you live and talking about how expats can find that challenging sometimes at least outside of their work. What’s wonderful about cohousing and especially about our community is that we really will be a community of Greeks and people from all over the world. And the Greeks in our community are going to be a bridge to the local community. We will have that extra kind of layer of support and and integration that comes from living right next to people who can tell you over dinner, “Go to this place for this reason.” “I just heard about this job,” that sort of thing.

Pare: [00:23:35] We cook together and we eat together. And that is part of the glue that makes our community special. And this kind of information is just comfortably and easily exchanged between people in our community because of how it’s designed and because of the fact that we eat together.

Kim: I wanted to insert a clarification about the cooking and eating together, because that’s a common question. Sharing meals is a feature of cohousing, but the frequency of shared meals is determined by each community. I’ve seen it range from several times a week, to once a month optional meals. Outside of those designated shared meals you’re making your own arrangements … which could include getting together with neighbors if you want to, but you do have your own kitchen.

Kim: [00:23:55] I can’t remember if I saw it written somewhere or if somebody said it, but the sentiment was: In a normal living situation, even with my close friends, I feel like most of the time spent visiting friends we are catching up on what we’ve been doing. Compared to a cohousing situation, we’re already caught up. We’re always caught up because we live near each other. We have so much opportunity to find out what’s going on that it means that the time we spend together, we go so much deeper. We get into those good conversations and talk about really meaningful stuff. And it’s a way to have the relationship you want to have, basically what it came down to.

Pare: [00:24:43] Yeah, it’s hard to describe the sense of ease and comfort and really the sense of joy that I had as a parent. It’s not just that you develop deep relationships easily, it’s that you are surrounded by support that you don’t have to do any planning for it all. As a parent, I was constantly planning and in just one day it was just like a light switch went on. There was no more planning needed for anything. The lessons were right there. The friends were right there when he slept at night. I could have my monitor and just walk a few steps to the common house and be part of the wine club or on board game night play board games, or just sit on my porch and have somebody come by and just sit there and talk to me. All while my child was taken care of. Maybe going rock climbing with with a friend who used to take him rock climbing all the time, or just being at somebody’s house watching a movie. All of those things were a few steps away. And I just felt the sense of … just ease and comfort. It gave me time to reflect and get my own needs met. I could work out finally. I could relax and just sit down and have a cup of tea every day. Just things like that are simple and small. But for me, they were just enormous.

Kim: [00:26:18] That’s beautiful. Yeah. So my impression from speaking with you is that you have a very strong vision for what you’re hoping to create with this community, and I understand that there’s a shared decision making that members kind of become developers along the way, that there’s a lot of planning and conversation that goes into the development process. But since you’re spearheading this organization, I wanted to ask you, what are the particular kind of vision and values for this community? And do you have some kind of non-negotiable elements that will make this community distinct?

Pare: [00:27:03] Cohousing is about intentional design and creating a community that captures everyone’s values, so my original mission is fairly simple and it’s a matter of the whole community coming together and creating something that meets our needs, not just my small original mission need. My my original mission was simply multigenerational cohousing in Greece. That brings along with it a need to ensure that multiple generations are taking care of. That we’ve got safe and beautiful places for children to play. That we’ve got great schools for them to go to. That we’ve got strong Internet for people in their working years that are dependent on Internet. That we have good aging in place features for people that are retiring and in their later years. So other than multigenerational needs, it’s really about the whole community. And one thing that we’ve been talking a lot about lately is living sustainably. Ivy and Adonis and several other members of our group are bringing to it all sorts of values about sustainable living that we are integrating into our our vision.

Kim: [00:28:22] Can you say a little bit more about that, Ivy?

Ivy: [00:28:25] Yeah, my husband, Adonis, and I are often thinking about how to live sustainably, how to eventually live as much as we can off of the grid, not use as much electricity, use clean energy, and not just be carbon neutral, but to be carbon negative. And that means being really intentional about the infrastructure of such a community and to go down to the materials we use for building the community and, you know, how we’re going to grow food and how we’re going to source food and how we’re going to use our relationships that we have here in Greece to continue that and to even inspire it beyond our community. And so, you know, this is something that we think about as well. We when we think about are we going to have a kid? Probably in a few years or maybe five years. But what are the things that we want to instill in terms of values? Well, you know, the way that the world is right now in terms of this, the effects of climate change that we’re seeing, how do we do this responsibly? And so we’re thinking about all of those things. And to have a community that we’re building here basically from scratch, how do we lay sustainability as part of its foundation? That’s some of the things that we’re talking about, some of the things that we are researching while we’re here on the ground so that we can be as intentional as possible before we break ground.

Kim: [00:30:20] Yeah, you’re speaking my language there when you talk about sustainability, it’s not just the physical side, but it’s also the relational side. And the relational and the social, it all plays in and they feed off each other.

Ivy: [00:30:33] Is absolutely all connected. That’s right.

Pare: [00:30:36] That’s right, we talk about shared economy a lot now in cohousing, shared spaces, shared economy, that’s really where I think all of all of the world is headed. And it’s why cohousing has has exploded in popularity after this pandemic among all populations, but especially around people living abroad. Sustainable living is just very important. We have our weekly meeting. We’ve got Timothy Lowman from Milagro Cohousing in Tucson, Arizona, coming to talk to us about a gray water wetland system that they created in Milagro Cohousing. We’d like to try something like that. And because cohousing is such a community, a wider community, in addition to a a village community, this wider community provides a support system. And all I have to do is just reach out to one community that’s already done this and they can explain how they did it, what it cost, what materials to use. So we’ve got this fantastic support system that your average neighborhood or village really doesn’t have. People that have talked about every possible problem that happens socially and how how to fix that, how to improve it. So I’m just very thankful for being part of this this movement, because it’s more than just each individual community. It’s really something special that is growing.

Ivy: [00:32:09] And part of our first property search was to visit properties that were already doing this and so they could speak very detailed about their septic system and their sewage and how they did it very sustainably and how to reuse grey matter grey water so that we could be a part of the movement. And that’s exactly the same language they used. And so as much as we can create these relationships across Greece, be an example and lead by example of what this means, what it looks like, and provide some documentation so others can do it, too. That’s absolutely part of the movement.

Kim: [00:32:54] Yeah, I love that it’s not a new concept and there’s really a lot of research and there’s a lot of sharing of information across all of these cohousing communities. So you’re not reinventing the wheel. You’re not starting from scratch when you come upon an issue to discuss. Who would you say would be ideal candidates for this community and at the same time, who is it not for?

Ivy: [00:33:20] So I would say ideal candidates for this community would be of folks across generations, so who would fit certain criteria around having an appreciation and expanding curiosity for Greek culture and the country of Greece, who are interested in living intentionally among people who have common values, one of which would be sustainability. And for folks who want to learn through living in all types of ways. So whether it’s carpentry or farming or gardening, cooking. Interacting with people of all ages and across different backgrounds. It’s also for people who are interested in being location independent or who are interested in starting a new life, setting down roots in Greece. And I think Pare can speak a little bit more to folks who it’s ideal for when it comes to cohousing. And I’ll say that who it’s not for, are people who aren’t really interested in being social. And I want to be careful with that because it’s not not for introverts.

Kim: [00:34:55] Well there’s more introverted housing, from what I hear.

Ivy: [00:34:58] Yeah, so and I think Pare can speak to that, too. I want to make sure that’s a clear point.

Kim: [00:35:04] But you say people who want to be social, if you are on the anti social side, then you’re not going to fit into

Ivy: [00:35:11] Right.

Kim: [00:35:11] The kind of the shared decision making and the shared caring for the property and for each other.

Ivy: [00:35:16] Right. And if you’re not interested in being a student of life and open to learning, no matter what age you are, then maybe not for you.

Pare: [00:35:30] Yeah, absolutely. It’s really just for anyone who is drawn to community. It truly is a place where you have your privacy, you have your private home. I’m an introvert. I enjoy hiking by myself. I enjoy my privacy. I was not a party person. Ivy and Adonis had the biggest wedding possible. You know, I tend to only hang out with a couple of people at a time. So it draws a lot of different type of people, but it certainly draws people like me because I get my privacy and yet I can walk out the door and I have really easy community. So it’s simply for people who are drawn to community. That’s what it comes down to. If you have a desire to be in greater connection with other people and connection with the land, then cohousing is for you.

Kim: [00:36:25] Ok, that sounds great. So one last question I have. As I have been looking around at cohousing a bit and I’m noticing that for a number of reasons, it seems on the surface to be a higher end or a more expensive way to get into housing, or possibly I might even use the word “elite” lifestyle. You’re not just buying a house, but you’re buying, you’re investing in the shared property. And then at least in the United States, a lot of times it’s organized like a condominium. So you have a housing association fee so that you’re contributing to ongoing maintenance and everything. All of that makes sense. And then because it’s purpose built, a lot of times it’s new construction. And so the members are developers in a sense and have to put — that money has to come from somewhere. So a lot of times you’re putting cash in up front. So it’s just making me kind of go, “Huh. How much money do you have to have to get into one of these places?” Can you talk to that a little bit?

Ivy: [00:37:29] Yeah, and I can speak from a millennial perspective because I’m a millennial. So I often read articles that are like, you know, this is how I I’m 30 and I bought a 734,000 dollar house by the beach. And yeah, I go on to read the article and I’m like, how did they do it? And it’s like, first I got I used my inheritance. And I’m like, I am not reading the rest of this article. I’m just not going to do it. Like, where are the opportunities for millennials like me to own a home? We’re just getting shut out of this process. So I was very clear in joining this group, you know, this is what I can do. And is this realistic for me to continue to explore? It turns out that it is possible. The prices are middle income prices and there are options for studio home, one, two, three, and four bedroom homes in this cohousing community. And after seeing some presentations by a couple of cohousing architects who have been doing this, my mind was blown I was just thinking there was a single house and it’s next to another single house, which is next, and so on and so forth. And it doesn’t have to be designed that way. It can be designed with pricing in mind for people like me or people who don’t have a lot or people who already have a home and can sell it and then buy a home in this cohousing project. You don’t have to be rich.

Ivy: [00:39:23] And so in addition to an Explorer member fee, there are other installments that you can make and you are investing in your future home and the creation of this housing project. So for me, as a millennial, if the money is going into my bank account, I much prefer to put that towards an investment rather than being told I have to pay something upfront and have all of the money now. So there are a few options there. And this is something that I’m really passionate about as a diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging consultant, because I realize that in the cohousing space in general across the world, it is not 100 percent diverse. It’s very, very difficult to find a community that really is diverse culturally. And so,

Kim: [00:40:24] Yep.

Ivy: [00:40:25] You know, I’m proud of this community to make that a top priority and work with folks who may not have a lot of money and even consider that we could implement a program that would accommodate refugee families or do good in the world in this way. So. Pare is there anything else that you want to add to that? I, for one, am really happy that, you know, it isn’t just for rich people.

Pare: [00:40:59] No I think Ivy said it all. We’re just lucky to have our members. Cohousing is a brain trust. Ivy’s got this expertise and this background and this passion. And when you get a group of people together and they put their brains together in this brain trust, you just get all sorts of skills and talents, like Ivy’s brought to these problems. And I think we’re going to have a really exciting community.

Kim: [00:41:28] That’s great. I like that brain trust. That’s an interesting way to talk about it. Thank you guys so much for coming and talking about this today. I really, really appreciate it. And I think that this will be a very interesting and new and exciting idea for my listeners. So I’m very thankful that you reached out to me to let me know about this concept. And since then, I’ve done a lot of looking into it. As I understand, if people are interested to find out more, you have an information session every Friday currently and we’ll have links in the shownotes that they can find that information. Is there anything else people need to know about how they can find out more?

Pare: [00:42:11] Yes, you know, we are Greek Village Cohousing. Make sure the word village is in there so you can find us on the Internet at www.GreekVillageCohousing.com. And you can find us on Facebook. We do have an information session every Friday. And I’m also happy to to answer any questions if anyone wants to email at GreekVillageCohousing@gmail.com.

Ivy: [00:42:40] And you can find me on Instagram at @LunchWithIvy. I’m happy to respond to any direct messages. Thank you so much, Kim.

Kim: [00:42:51] Wonderful. Thank you so much.

As I’ve looked at several cohousing communities over the past few weeks, I notice that each community has its own distinct vibe or personality. The pathway for joining one of these groups varies a little, but I think of it kind of like dating, or a courtship process, as both sides get to know each other and find out if you’re going to mesh well together. Because it is more than just living in close proximity; there’s also shared decision making, and shared commitment to the property and the community.

I’ve got a few articles, videos, websites linked in the shownotes if you want to learn more about Greek Village Cohousing, cohousing in general, cohousing communities in other parts of the world, or what families and children have to say about the experience of living in a cohousing community.

Whether you find this particular form of intentional community – cohousing – right for you, or not, whether you decide to investigate some form of intentional community (and there are different versions out there for sure), I hope this conversation has sparked some thoughts for you about 

  • what you most desire for your family, and
  • how you can build community wherever you land.

Next episode, I have one of my favorite people on, and we have a wonderful conversation about … conversation, I suppose, which goes really well with this topic of community.

And I’m working on a very special event coming up in the next couple months, designed to build a sense of community, especially for expats who are “newly arrived” and right in that very difficult stage – exciting but difficult stage full of chaos and questions – and feeling like you just want some relief. Make sure you’re following me on Facebook or Instagram and check back in on the podcast to be sure you catch the details when that’s all ready for you.

Cohousing is the village re-imagined and improved upon.

Intentional community

This episode is about a very special type of community called “cohousing,” and a special example of cohousing that’s built with expats in mind. My two guests, Pare Gerou and Ivy Summer, are part of the team organizing a cohousing development in Greece called Greek Village Cohousing. 

They’re planning a community focused on healthy and relaxed living, being in nature near the sea and mountains, and giving children the enriching experience of having people around from many nations with all sorts of talents and skills to share. They’ve had lots of interest from expat families who recognize the advantages of living in a cohousing community. It’s an instant tribe for the children, with an enriching environment and a sense of freedom. It’s a strong support system for parents and leads to a relaxed and more fulfilling life as a parent: No more planning playdates or driving children all over the place. Pare says she found her years in cohousing transformational as a parent. 

Greek Village Cohousing has just reopened membership. To learn more about the project and membership process, check out their website and Facebook page, join an information session, and strike up an email conversation. There’s an information coffee Zoom every Friday, and Pare (pronounced Pah-REE), the Outreach coordinator and original founder, is available for any and all questions. 

Pare spent time in Greece as a child and lived in cohousing for several years with her son, so she’s bringing those two loves together in a Greek cohousing community. She also brings her expertise and interest in immigration law and refugee law to the complex needs of international relocation. Ivy previously lived in another type of intentional community called coliving, and now lives in Greece with her Greek husband, and says cohousing could not be a better match to their ideal life. Ivy also brings her expertise to the project as an independent consultant in the realm of diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEIB).

Greek Village Cohousing is for anyone who's drawn to community.

Cohousing fosters connection and sense of belonging

I hear from expats two things about their life abroad:

    1. Strong bonds form very quickly through shared hardships and adventures. There’s a sense of family, you have to rely on people in different ways. (For example, if you get hurt, you might not want to call your boss to carry you to the car and drive you to the hospital, but sometimes that’s the only person who’s available for that call!)
    2. Profound loneliness. Finding new friends and connections can be difficult and can take time. This is true in a new country, and when moving “back home.”

In my research into cohousing I came across this sentiment (paraphrased): 

In conventional life, when visiting friends (even close friends), most of the time is spent catching up on what we’ve been doing. But in cohousing, everyone’s already caught up. Living near each other provides so much opportunity to find out what’s going on. 

That means in the time spent together you can go so much deeper. You get to have good conversations and dig into really meaningful stuff. Essentially, it’s a way to have the relationships you want to have.

This echoes some of the best aspects of life abroad and life with roots that I’ve experienced. A sense of belonging, a sense of family, and being known.

We're not trying to create an expat enclave; we want to be inclusive.

The core elements of cohousing

Cohousing is a design movement: a social design movement and an architectural design movement.

The concept started in Denmark in the 1960s with a group of families who were feeling isolated and without the support they needed. Over the past several decades cohousing has evolved to incorporate a lot of best practices.

Cohousing is a unique experience of the village “reimagined” – and maybe even improved upon. At its roots are the best interests of families with children. Members live more sustainably, sharing time and sharing (some) spaces.

The physical layout of the community is designed around supporting parents and children (among other things). Cars are parked on the periphery to create a pedestrian property, which allows children to be free. Houses are generally clustered close together, with kitchen windows looking out on a central green. That makes it easy for everyone to be watching the children as they play, which adds security.

The common lands are designed for everyone’s use, with beautiful areas for connection and fun. Each family has their own private house, but also share a big “common house” with a large kitchen that allows cooking and eating together, and it usually has a children’s playroom. 

Socially, cohousing has a participatory design aspect. Cohousing is “DIY” [do it yourself]. One of the features of cohousing is that you don’t just take things as they are. You could say cohousing is a brain trust. Each member brings their passions, skills, talents, and expertise for the good of the community, which is very exciting.

In short, these are the mostly universal habits of cohousing:

    • Intentional community 
      • the deliberate choice to be a caring and supportive neighbor; 
      • deliberate architectural design to nurture connections and fun; 
      • deliberate social design for health and happiness
    • Balance of privacy and community
    • Participatory design and management, with nonhierarchical decision making (everyone’s voice is heard)
    • Cooking and eating together in the common house (frequency is determined by each community)
In cohousing, parents feel immense peace and joy.

Multigenerational needs are taken care of

Cohousing is about intentional design and creating a community that captures everyone’s values. The mission for Greek Village Cohousing is a matter of the whole community coming together to create something that meets the needs of our members. Originally, Pare set out to simply create “multigenerational cohousing in Greece.”

Ensuring that multiple generations are taken care of means things like

    • Safe and beautiful places for children to play. 
    • Great schools for children to go attend. 
    • Strong internet for people in their working years who are dependent on internet. 
    • Good aging-in-place features for people who are retiring / in their later years. 

Other than multigenerational needs, the mission is really about meeting the needs of the whole community

Sustainable living

One topic Greek Village Cohousing has been talking a lot about is living sustainably. How do we respond to the effects of climate change? How do we build responsibly? What are the values we want to instill in our children?

They’re looking at how to use less electricity, use clean energy. That means being really intentional about the infrastructure of the community, down to the materials used for building. They’re looking at how to grow food and source food. They’re looking at how to use relationships in Greece to further their sustainable living efforts and even inspire those efforts beyond their community. All these topics are part of the research phase so they can be as intentional as possible before breaking ground.

Part of the first property search included visiting properties that already have sustainable systems for septic, sewage, greywater, so they could ask in detail how it was done. Those property owners were happy to share their knowledge and further the sustainable living movement. Greek Village Cohousing wants to continue to build these relationships across Greece, and to lead by example and share their own knowledge and documentation for others to utilize.

Wisdom is “on tap” from cohousing communities around the globe

One thing I love about cohousing is that each community is part of a larger association that shares knowledge, learning, best practices, and details across the communities. No one needs to “reinvent the wheel” or start from scratch. 

Pare says, 

“All I have to do is just reach out to one community that’s already done this and they can explain how they did it, what it cost, what materials to use. So we’ve got this fantastic support system that your average neighborhood or village really doesn’t have. People that have talked about every possible problem that happens socially and how to fix that, how to improve it.”

For example, they’ve got Timothy Lowman from Milagro Cohousing in Tucson, Arizona, coming to talk about a greywater wetland system they created in Milagro Cohousing.

Bridging the gap between expats and local life

It can be difficult for expats to get out of the expat bubble. A lot of people struggle to bridge that gap. Greek Village Cohousing provides meaningful connections and inroads to local culture by bringing together Greek and international members.

We love the Greek culture, and it fits so well into the project that we’re creating here … and we’re not trying to create an expat enclave. We’re not trying to create something exclusive. We want to support the country where we want our community to thrive. And a big part of that is being inclusive, especially of the locals and the natives there. 

Greek Village Cohousing will be a community of Greeks and people from all over the world. Greeks in the community will be a bridge to the local community. The extra layer of support and integration that comes from living right next to people who can tell you over dinner, “Go to this place for this reason,” or “I just heard about this job,” will be a natural part of the community.

Cooking and eating together is part of the glue that makes a cohousing community special. Information is comfortably and easily exchanged between people because of how life is designed and structured.

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ABOUT HOST

Resilient Expats Kim Adams College and University Speaker

Hi there! I’m Kim Adams, member of Expat Coach Coalition and licensed practitioner for Adapt and Succeed Abroad. I’m an American raising three daughters along with my math teaching husband of 20+ years, currently in Oman.

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Diversity in culture, language, socioeconomic status

Greek Village Cohousing wants to have a diverse population, an international community with multilingual children. They’re also looking for ways to create a school environment that’s more inclusive with refugee families, expat families and Greek families all living together and going to school together, for a richer and more meaningful experience.

Ivy is a diversity and inclusion professional, and her guidance has been very helpful. Learn more about Ivy’s work on her website ThatPlace.Rocks and on LinkedIn.

Cohousing is great for families with children

Pare says the years she raised her son in cohousing were transformational.

“It’s hard to describe the sense of ease and comfort and really the sense of joy that I had as a parent. It’s not just that you develop deep relationships easily, it’s that you are surrounded by support that you don’t have to do any planning for at all. 

As a parent, I was constantly planning. [In cohousing] there was no more planning needed for anything. The lessons were right there. The friends were right there. 

When he slept at night, I could have my monitor and just walk a few steps to the common house and be part of the wine club or on board game night play board games, or just sit on my porch and have somebody come by and just sit there and talk to me. All while my child was taken care of. 

Maybe going rock climbing with with a friend who used to take him rock climbing all the time, or just being at somebody’s house watching a movie. All of those things were a few steps away. 

And I just felt the sense of … just ease and comfort. It gave me time to reflect and get my own needs met. I could work out finally. I could relax and just sit down and have a cup of tea every day. Just things like that are simple and small. But for me, they were just enormous.”

Here’s a video from Forgebank, Lancaster Cohousing in the UK that includes children talking about their own experiences.

Greek culture suits cohousing ideals

Have you seen the meme about security methods in various countries? Other countries have security cameras, but in Greece you just have three old women on a balcony looking around, knowing everything that’s going on in town.

Ivy says,

There’s a culture of “We’ll watch your kids because we all live in the same community and we all want the best for the people who are living in this community.” And that means acting like a kind of family in a sense. 

That’s what I experience while I’m [in Greece]. I find it very easy to spark up a conversation that might last for a couple hours with the neighbors …. They make the time for those social interactions and really highly value relationships

A core part of cohousing is the common interest in building relationships, not only with those living in your community, but everything and everyone surrounding the community as well. Greece and its culture plays into that very well.

This article about Greek Village Cohousing in Athens Insider also discusses these factors.

We're looking for ways to create a more inclusive school environment with refugees, expats and Greeks together.

Property negotiations are underway

After a property search, Greek Village Cohousing found a property “better than our wildest dreams.” While they’re just beginning the negotiation process, they’ve got a great top contender and awesome second contenders.

“We’re talking about something that really checks all the boxes. I’ve got stars in my eyes. But we’re going to take it one step at a time, really, really hoping the best for this negotiation period, which is going very smoothly. So we’re very excited about this.”

“Ten out of ten.”

The first choice property boasts features such as

    • In close proximity to schools, just 18-20 minutes drive away
    • Very close to the sea, about a 30 minute drive
    • Right next to at least 15 hiking trails and a forest
    • The view is enormous and gorgeous, rolling hills and sunny skies
    • Not a lot of mosquitoes
    • Situated within a development that’s literally a mountain and a valley – a very large area where they can choose to build the community, that already has 
      • a patio made of stone with a souvla and firewood oven, traditional Greek churches, re-created ruins inspired by the architecture and structures in Agion Oros (“Holy Mountain”), 
      • a vineyard, a couple of ponds, many different types of trees – lemon, cherry, kiwi, chestnut, pears, apples
      • 15 horses in their stables, pigs and goats, deer specific to the Peloponnese, a little porcupine family, extremely biodiverse with over 300 species of plants
Cohousing is a brain trust.

Practical considerations for living in Greece​: Schools

Close proximity to excellent schooling options was a top priority in their property search. The top contender is close to private and public school. 

“There are classic private schools and English speaking schools all over Greece, and they are excellent.”

Practical considerations: How expensive is it?

As I researched cohousing, I gradually began to see that it can be a higher priced option. I even wondered if it should be called an “elite” lifestyle in some locations.

In addition to a private home, you’re investing in the shared property itself and ongoing maintenance. Since it’s purpose built it’s usually new construction, and members contribute to the downpayment.

Ivy says, speaking from a millennial perspective, 

“I was very clear in joining this group, “This is what I can do. Is this realistic for me to continue to explore?” It turns out that it IS possible.

It can be designed with pricing in mind for people like me, or people who don’t have a lot, or people who already have a home and can sell it and then buy a home in this cohousing project. You don’t have to be rich.

I’m proud of this community to make that a top priority and work with folks who may not have a lot of money and even consider that we could implement a program that would accommodate refugee families or do good in the world in this way. I, for one, am really happy that it isn’t just for rich people.

At Greek Village Cohousing, the prices are middle income prices. There are options for studio homes, one, two, three, and four bedroom homes. The cost can be split up in installments.

“This is something I’m really passionate about as a diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging consultant, because I realize that in the cohousing space in general across the world, it is not 100 percent diverse. It’s very, very difficult to find a community that really is diverse culturally.”

In cohousing you're surrounded by support and friends.

Practical considerations: Living and working in Greece

Greece has a fairly low cost of living relative to many other Western countries. The people are friendly, the food is fresh and delicious. There’s also the sun, the weather, and proximity to the city, mountain, beach, parks, and the rich history. So the sum of all of these great perks makes Greece a really wonderful location. 

Greece is making itself more attractive for digital workers. For those who wish to pursue local, in person work, options include the hospitality industry, the food and beverage industry, artisanal and handmade products. In the city about 20 minutes drive away, options include retail, teaching or tutoring for English or other subjects, consulting. 

Ivy says there’s a big entrepreneurial spirit in Greece: Once you get to know the locals and they understand the opportunities you’re seeking, they’re more than willing to help you.

Practical considerations: Visas

There’s a spectacular Golden Visa program right now in Greece. Golden Visa allows people to obtain permanent residence by purchasing property. Greece requires the lowest minimum investment in Europe.

Since the height of the pandemic in 2020, we saw the debut of visa programs that are really great for people who work remotely, people who are interested in being location independent. And there’s some really cool tax advantages that come along with that, as well as purchasing property, or new developments in general.

Cohousing is a social and architectural design movement.

Is cohousing for you?

Ideal candidates for this community would be folks across generations, who

    • have an appreciation and curiosity for Greek culture and the country of Greece
    • are interested in living intentionally among people who have common values, one of which would be sustainability
    • want to learn through living, in all types of ways (whether carpentry, farming, gardening, cooking, interacting with people of all ages and across different backgrounds)
    • are interested in being location independent or are interested in starting a new life, setting down roots in Greece

Cohousing is not for people who are anti social, or aren’t interested in being a student of life and open to learning, no matter your age.

Note: Introverts are welcome. In fact, there are more introverts than extroverts who live in cohousing.

I’m an introvert. … I get my privacy, and yet I can walk out the door and I have really easy community. 

It’s really for anyone who is drawn to community. That’s what it comes down to. If you have a desire to be in greater connection with other people and connection with the land, then cohousing is for you.

Learn more about Greek Village Cohousing

To find out more:

Greek Village Cohousing has an information session every Friday. Find them at www.GreekVillageCohousing.com and on Facebook

Pare is happy to answer any questions via email at GreekVillageCohousing@gmail.com.

Ivy is happy to respond to any direct messages; find her on Instagram at @LunchWithIvy.

If you’d like to tell your own stories with others who “get” you, join expats.together., a weekly live chat.

While launching the group program adapt.succeed.together., we noticed that a lot of people were looking for more connection and social support. We responded by creating a weekly live chat on zoom called expats.together. 

Currently we’re doing a short Facebook Live every Wednesday at 11am CET, where we dive into a relevant (and sometimes provocative) topic. We’d love to hear your take, whether during the Live or in the comments.

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ABOUT YOUR HOST

Resilient Expats LLC Kim Adams

Kim Adams is an American raising three daughters along with her math teaching husband of 20+ years. She loves photography, reading, thunderstorms, walking on the beach, camping where there are no bugs, and has a weakness for mint chocolate chip ice cream.

As a member of Expat Coach Coalition, Kim is a licensed practitioner for Adapt and Succeed Abroad, a tested and proven program that helps you do just that: adapt, and succeed, no matter where you are.

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